Stones.

Spring is a time when sowing seed for new grass and growth is optimal. With this purpose in mind, my husband began to overturn some dirt using our backhoe/loader; this would also help redirect a flow of water that could become problematic. Years ago, this work would have been done by hand and brute force.

Of course in breaking up hard ground that has been undisturbed for years, we found “stuff” in the soil. Broken glass, discarded trash, and stone or little rocks were interspersed throughout the ground. My job was to pick up these items in anticipation of sowing the grass seed.

Prior to this season, I had been mowing around these dirt mounds until it was time to deal with them. The first task was to spread out the dirt to see what we had to work with. My husband brought in more dirt to fill in the gaps; with that plan, came more “unscreened” soil. We used what resources we have rather than purchasing the “screened” soil.

I worked and started in one spot, making my plan ahead of time, as not to be overwhelmed and give up. It seemed as if the stones multiplied; the more I picked up, the more I saw. I was reminded of my “picking rocks” days in the fields as a young girl, out in fields with my family who crop farmed and owned a dairy farm. We walked the fields picking up rocks, so the planting would go easier.

In the moments of feeling weary and annoyed by all of these stones in this beautiful soil, the Lord showed me an analogy and a picture in life to apply. Stay tuned…..

“...Let each one take care how he builds….”

Some would call this room the attic; I call it the fourth floor - the secret place. This room in the farmhouse was like a bonus space we found as we toured the property, just before the C-19 shutdown. I saw the open beams and rafters, with high ceilings and space to stand up; so many possibilities with this space.

This picture represents the room before we began to touch it, to gut it, and bring more support to the structure. You see, upon further inspection, we discovered the roof needed support. While the weight had been carried for 100+ years, the pressure had been pushing on the walls of the structure and needed relief. This was not easily visible, and so it is with life….

We would need to do some rebuilding: replacing: restructuring.

I think of my own life, and ours as couple, a new family unit of 5 years. While who I was in my former life, worked for years past; it was not until widowhood and my kids growing up that my rebuilding process began. Like the fourth floor, I did not fully realize the stress I had been buckling under. For my husband Scott, he has his own experiences, until suddenly a divine interruption where we reconnected and began the process of building together.

I have learned in 25+ years in this business, that taking the time to get the structure right will pay off in the long run. Do the tedious, arduous work. Follow the plan but be flexible. Getting a support structure in place as you build in life will serve you in the present and future.

We could have left this fourth floor space, the secret place, alone, undisturbed and simply use it for storage. However, the full potential would never be realized if left as is, but that is not what I am about.

“…like a skilled master builder I laid a foundation, and someone else is building upon it. Let each one take care how he builds upon it….”

Gutting it out.

I recently had a friend comment to me, something to the effect that even though I have experienced a lot of loss in my life, I seem to have found happiness. For me, the word ‘happy’ is a conflicting word for my soul; it conjures up images of perfection, idealism, and everything being “right” in my world. What I did not expect was my response to my friend, as I blurted out my thoughts: I shared how my “happiness” is not based on my situation in my life, because if it were, I could find reasons not to be happy. Life is messy. I do however, have joy, peace, and a hope that is not found in my circumstances or situational positions.

Some may view our farm property with one opinion and perspective, while I may have a totally opposite one. I can find inspiration, oddly enough, in the rubble, the grit, and determination the work requires; while this may not be the norm, there is a certain amount of “happy” I feel even within the confines of this chaos. How about that?

This of course, sounds like a complete contradiction; however, I find curiosity can rise out of rubble, ruins, and renovations. Taking something from a position or condition of ruin and into the process of renovation is actually very rewarding. This analogy can be applied to our personal lives as well.

The image I chose today is a view of the first floor of the farmhouse, as it has been gutted, summer-fall 2021. Plaster with horse hair was dusty and messy, along with pulling off the old lathe pieces, made for a huge project, throughout the whole house. The foundational stone has been exposed; the chipping of old concrete continues. So many possibilities await as we refine the vision.

While the gutting process is not always fun, the hope of transformation is on the other side. And that makes me “happy.”

Pathway to potential.

Sometimes, many times, opportunities reveal themselves to me during what seems to be the most inopportune moments in life, or at the very least, when I was not looking for it. Like any other human being, I would prefer to find my treasures-blessings-opportunities, wrapped up in a pretty bow, inviting me to take part in what looks cleaned up, warm, and welcoming, with no mess. Somehow, this has not been my lot or portion in life, in many areas. My opportunities have come out of chaos-change, and often, with me kicking and screaming my way there. Oh, but what a view on the way up.

Early on in my adult life, and like many of us do, I dreamt of the home with a white picket fence, curb appeal, and a way to provide for my family what I did not have as a child growing up. It took a long, long while to get there and well, God knew something I did not: He knew what I needed more than I knew for myself. He provided pathways in my life through properties owned and lived in, for me to get a taste of desperation, desire, and a complete growing trust of His dedication to me and my future good.

Coming upon this Pearl homestead, completely rundown, overgrown, neglected, and in disrepair to say the least, was something i initially said no too. I could not imagine getting my hands dirty again, into a project of this scale; wasn’t it time for us to just “settle down” or find something more manageable? Well, it was not a year after those initial thoughts, did the sale of this property come up. I don’t know what changed in me, or how it changed in me, but what was previously overwhelming and I wanted nothing to do with, was now appealing, doable, and I saw potential.

I find this to be the norm for me. What seems overwhelming at one point in my life can actually be the very direction I am going in. Noticing the hidden opportunities in the chaos of life is where the real treasure lies.